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--- philosophy:senseandnonsense [2024/10/25 16:01] – [How to do The Work] Owen Mellema
+++ philosophy:senseandnonsense [2024/10/25 17:12] (current) – Owen Mellema
@@ Line 64: / Line 64: @@
 Eh, let me bring it back to specifics. It is completely fair to not give money to the homeless man on the side of the street, because you are suspicious of how that money will actually be used. However, maybe consider instead donating money to a homeless shelter, that you have carefully vetted? In that way, you are still showing love, but you are being wise. Or, if you simply don't have enough money to be comfortable donating any, that's fine too.
-MY perspective on good works is: it is more important to **do** good than to **be** good. Don't focus on eliminating supposed hypocrisy or internal philosophical contradictions of your actions. Don't focus on whether or not you are doing "enough". If you do, you will never do anything of value, as you will be so completely paralyzed by self-doubt and guilt. The practice of love should be rooted in joy, not in guilt.
+In a practical sense, I generally try to do good through established organizations that I trust, rather than on an ad-hoc level, unless it is for someone that I know well.
+My perspective on good works is: it is more important to **do** good than to **be** good. Don't focus on eliminating supposed hypocrisy or internal philosophical contradictions of your actions. Don't focus on whether or not you are doing "enough". If you do, you will never do anything of value, as you will be so completely paralyzed by self-doubt and guilt. The practice of love should be rooted in joy, not in guilt.
+===== Challenges, and how I overcome them =====
+Now that I have established my basic framework for a healthy mind, I will discuss some sepcific things that I have faced, and my advice for others in dealing with them.
+==== Anxiety ====
+Anxiety has two facets that ought to be considered:
+  * The fear it afflicts you with when you try to do something that makes you anxious
+  * The desire to never do anything that makes you afraid
+Both of these can be destructive and should be managed.
+For the first facet, I have a few strategies for how I deal with it:
+  * **Planning**: There's really no harm in planning out what you are going to do before you do it. In fact it is generally a good call. You just have to be careful, because sometimes things don't go according to plan
+  * **Research**: Anxiety makes everything seem like a big deal. However, many things are actually quite manageable when considered objectively. If something makes me nervous, I try to do research on it, and understand it better. Just knowing more about the subject allows me to gain control over it.
+  * **Reject Nonsense**: After doing research, some things that you are afraid of are just complete nonsense. Don't fall for emotional reasoning, just because something //feels// like a big deal doesn't mean that it //is// a big deal.
+  * **Doing hard things**: This is similar to "doing the work" -- as you do things that make you uncomfortable, you gain more and more confidence in your ability to do other things that make you uncomfortable.
+As for the second, this is trickier, because a lot of the time you don't even realize that it is happening. The anxiety doesn't proclaim itself to be anxiety, instead, it manifests as a desire for comfort. On the surface, this seems okay -- after all, who doesn't desire to be comfortable?
+To quote Kahlil Gibran: "Verily the lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul, and then walks grinning in the funeral."
+That is to say, the desire for comfort caused by your anxiety may cause you to live a life that is contrary to your own aspirations. It will tell you to always do the easiest possible thing, to never take any risks, and this will kill your spirit.
+How does one manage a threat that pretends to not be a threat? In my opinion, you manage it by first understanding your what your aspirations actually are. This is an inherently philosophical task, but a good place to start is by considering what your dreams are.
+I'll give you an example. I was very nervous about getting started with dating, so I put off some things that would have moved me closer to the goal of having romantic success. I would always find an excuse for why now wasn't the right time for it. However, at a certain point, I realized that I greatly valued the idea of being in a relationship with someone. So, my desire for comfort was directly contradicting my much greater desire for a relationship.